Rock Star Thanksgiving Pt. 2
Thanksgiving Part 2:
Here’s a few more Rock Star Thanksgiving recipes that I totally made up from various sources. It’s pretty sad, between my sewing and now my cooking – I’ve become some weird groupie version of Martha Stewart or something.
Caramel Apple Sauce
3 Granny Smith Apples
4 Red and Delicious Apples
1/2 a pack of Caramel Apple dip stuff
1 cinnamon stick
1/4 cup of dark brown sugar
Up to 1/2 cup of white sugar
1 cup of water
1/2 teaspoon of salt
Put all ingredients into a large pot. Cover. Bring to boil. Lower heat and simmer for 20-30 minutes and remove from heat. Remove cinnamon stick. Mash with potato masher. Unless you’re like stupid Rock Star and don’t own one – Resorting to a fork will suck big time, but it will work eventually. Simmer that a bit more then store it.
Broccoli, Cauliflower & Random Peas
Lots of Broccoli
Lots of Cauliflower
Peas
Pam or Faux butter
PAPRIKA!
Around 1 am the night before Thanksgiving – Put on Letterman – its Thanksgiving Tradition! He will make reference to the infamous Richard Simmons appearance – Prank Call the Butterball hotline – And he’ll have Rupert help a guest throw a turkey of the roof of the Ed Sullivan Theater into a Vat of Gravy on 54th Street!!!!!!
Cut and clean all the broccoli & green beans tonight. Trust me you’ll be too tired in a few hours to be using sharp objects. Put the pre-cut veggies into Tupperware’s and into the fridge. Now tomorrow you’ll feel like Martha Stewart with pre-made ingredients!!
In the morning, after lots of coffee, and making the carrots (see below) Pam some frying pans. Simmer the green beans in a bit of water. Pam another pan – simmer the cauliflower. Ok guess what, Pam a pan, simmer the peas. Once the water is gone – Sauté the veggies. Add PAPRIKA! To each veggie then transfer all that into a big pot mix it up. Now take that put it in a Tupper ware and save it for later.
Maple Carrots
Serves 4–5
• 25 baby carrots, peeled,
• 1/4-cup water
• 2 TB maple syrup
• Dash of salt
Ground Cloves
Ground Ginger
1/4 cup of flour
1/4 cup of brown sugar
Ok, on Thanksgiving Day, get up at like 5 am. Seriously. Dude, that’s why they make coffee, Watch some Modonna concerts while you have coffee. Her butt looks great at any hour of the morning. So, once you have coffee, make carrots, it’s the easiest one to do when you’re tired. Put on some music and do the little dance from the Confessions tour. No one else is up anyway so no one will laugh.
Boil water. While the water boils, put the carrots in big bowl. Fuck what the recipe says - Dump half a thing of Maple syrup onto the carrots. Add the rest of the ingredients. The water should be boiling now – if not – Madonna goofy dance. Add the carrots let them simmer a while. Cook until most of liquid evaporates, stirring frequently, approximately 8 minutes. Keep stirring them and add more of any ingredient you feel necessary. Uncover, stir, and cook one more minute.
Whew!! By now the carrots should be done– quit screwing around with the carrots and the Madonna dance and get to the Broccoli!
Green Bean & Water Chestnuts
INGREDIENTS
2 bags of fresh green beans, trimmed
3 (8 ounce) can sliced water chestnuts, drained
2 cups of sliced fresh mushrooms
1 can of Amy’s Cream of Mushroom Soup
1/4-teaspoon pepper
1/8-teaspoon salt
DIRECTIONS
Actually, my bad. You’re gonna make this the night before when David Letterman is on. By the time you finish this and get to cutting the other stuff, Craig Fergusson will be on talking about Naughty little Dunkeys.
Pam 3 frying pans. Simmer the green beans in a wee bit of water. Do the same for the shrooms and the water chestnuts. Sauté everything a bit, then combine everything into a big pot. Now Add the can of Amy’s Soup = and make sure it’s Amys – don’t be lame and get Campbell’s! Leave that over a low heat – just make sure you don’t miss the big Turkey Drop off the Ed Sullivan Theater! It’s freakin awesome every time!
Here’s a few more Rock Star Thanksgiving recipes that I totally made up from various sources. It’s pretty sad, between my sewing and now my cooking – I’ve become some weird groupie version of Martha Stewart or something.
Caramel Apple Sauce
3 Granny Smith Apples
4 Red and Delicious Apples
1/2 a pack of Caramel Apple dip stuff
1 cinnamon stick
1/4 cup of dark brown sugar
Up to 1/2 cup of white sugar
1 cup of water
1/2 teaspoon of salt
Put all ingredients into a large pot. Cover. Bring to boil. Lower heat and simmer for 20-30 minutes and remove from heat. Remove cinnamon stick. Mash with potato masher. Unless you’re like stupid Rock Star and don’t own one – Resorting to a fork will suck big time, but it will work eventually. Simmer that a bit more then store it.
Broccoli, Cauliflower & Random Peas
Lots of Broccoli
Lots of Cauliflower
Peas
Pam or Faux butter
PAPRIKA!
Around 1 am the night before Thanksgiving – Put on Letterman – its Thanksgiving Tradition! He will make reference to the infamous Richard Simmons appearance – Prank Call the Butterball hotline – And he’ll have Rupert help a guest throw a turkey of the roof of the Ed Sullivan Theater into a Vat of Gravy on 54th Street!!!!!!
Cut and clean all the broccoli & green beans tonight. Trust me you’ll be too tired in a few hours to be using sharp objects. Put the pre-cut veggies into Tupperware’s and into the fridge. Now tomorrow you’ll feel like Martha Stewart with pre-made ingredients!!
In the morning, after lots of coffee, and making the carrots (see below) Pam some frying pans. Simmer the green beans in a bit of water. Pam another pan – simmer the cauliflower. Ok guess what, Pam a pan, simmer the peas. Once the water is gone – Sauté the veggies. Add PAPRIKA! To each veggie then transfer all that into a big pot mix it up. Now take that put it in a Tupper ware and save it for later.
Maple Carrots
Serves 4–5
• 25 baby carrots, peeled,
• 1/4-cup water
• 2 TB maple syrup
• Dash of salt
Ground Cloves
Ground Ginger
1/4 cup of flour
1/4 cup of brown sugar
Ok, on Thanksgiving Day, get up at like 5 am. Seriously. Dude, that’s why they make coffee, Watch some Modonna concerts while you have coffee. Her butt looks great at any hour of the morning. So, once you have coffee, make carrots, it’s the easiest one to do when you’re tired. Put on some music and do the little dance from the Confessions tour. No one else is up anyway so no one will laugh.
Boil water. While the water boils, put the carrots in big bowl. Fuck what the recipe says - Dump half a thing of Maple syrup onto the carrots. Add the rest of the ingredients. The water should be boiling now – if not – Madonna goofy dance. Add the carrots let them simmer a while. Cook until most of liquid evaporates, stirring frequently, approximately 8 minutes. Keep stirring them and add more of any ingredient you feel necessary. Uncover, stir, and cook one more minute.
Whew!! By now the carrots should be done– quit screwing around with the carrots and the Madonna dance and get to the Broccoli!
Green Bean & Water Chestnuts
INGREDIENTS
2 bags of fresh green beans, trimmed
3 (8 ounce) can sliced water chestnuts, drained
2 cups of sliced fresh mushrooms
1 can of Amy’s Cream of Mushroom Soup
1/4-teaspoon pepper
1/8-teaspoon salt
DIRECTIONS
Actually, my bad. You’re gonna make this the night before when David Letterman is on. By the time you finish this and get to cutting the other stuff, Craig Fergusson will be on talking about Naughty little Dunkeys.
Pam 3 frying pans. Simmer the green beans in a wee bit of water. Do the same for the shrooms and the water chestnuts. Sauté everything a bit, then combine everything into a big pot. Now Add the can of Amy’s Soup = and make sure it’s Amys – don’t be lame and get Campbell’s! Leave that over a low heat – just make sure you don’t miss the big Turkey Drop off the Ed Sullivan Theater! It’s freakin awesome every time!
posted by Datura Thom Heap at 2:16 PM
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