Into The Void
Winter
Where the fuck were you?
Green?
Cummy?
?
No I was someplace else. The Chan, was a world unto itself.....
Would I were it would not have mattered.... the band was long gone.
Long gone and silent as the snow and frigid nights that followed one after another. Silence upon silence and no one was talking.
They had gone and left for Europe, Australia - Japan... but when would they tour The States. We'd waited so long. So long. And now had to face the long dark of winter with out word from above.
Waiting. Waiting with out Twitter. Waiting with out a constant stream of updates. No photo blog, no live streams, HD video did not exist. Not a word was spoken or typed across the sea to us.
When word came - it did not come from him, but from Rob. And his words were brief at best.
We were not complaining. We thought we were. We thought we complained as bitterly as the cold outside - but it was nothing to the bitching now from those who have more then everything. Oh we were displeased - but there it was again. We elevated it all to such a status. We had the fear of god, we spoke out - but when we did so there was such an art to it. Euphemism upon euphemism. The words we used then were so carefully chosen, we functioned as if in Victorian Society. For all we had was language.
But I always had to be a punk, I did not know when to hold my tongue or my fingers, and that is when I began to falter.
Sarcasm.
But in the face of such strange beauty - as when they began to drift back to us.
I still remember.
It’s not so complex. I just loved the band. We all did, we all do.
Winter is almost over....
Signs of life - are you ready? ....we have all waited so long...
It's About Time Lily.
This photo, all of them, for the past nine years have meant everything to me... and not just for the obvious reasons.
"...it sounds like a garden under a sheet of ice..."
That too, but these were all taken on April 9, 1999. Just days before - THAT day.
That day - April 12
And there it is. April 12 - Cleveland. The first day of the tour.
"It's all coming back to you."
"And the days go by like a strand in the wind..."
Fly -
He says "Tonight!"
All of us - outside the Arena. We watch Robin walk in - I look down as he does - I wave - he waves back. Oh my god!
All of us hanging inside talking to Rob and Keith. Oh that was nothing then, he'd just be out every night. He was just a kid then as were any of us. I saw Jerome at the side of the stage. He signed my ticket! In under an hour night - I'd gone from never having met a band member to almost having met two.
The boy keeps joking "Convocation Center - Lets convocate over here." Oh there was quite a bit of convocating...
In the pit - My first pit mind you. I hear - dear god, I hear A Perfect Circle for the first time. The Hollow - there are no words.
We're waiting - I look over in the crowd, I'm five heads back just off center. "Carol," I look over about five people to the voice calling me - "Lev" I call back. We reach our hands out - just close enough, I grab his hand he grabs mine, he pulls me over now I'm dead center.
The New Flesh starts to play. We freak out. He looks down at his watch - he tells me they'd been playing that prior to taking the stage. "Six minutes' he says. We're freaking out. Five people back. We can't push forward anymore. The New Flesh - dear god. to this day - I can't hear it - or anything off Mer De Noms for that matter with out this pang from within - standing right back on that floor feeling that fucking crashing insane anticipation - and dear god -
PINION!
I rip forward through the crowd. Two heads back - - - - -
NAILS!
So there you are. I was dying. Dying. Pits now pale in comparison. That and being a few heads back, I nearly died. Literally, I would have passed out.... had I not gotten one of his water bottles! Oh it wasn't that special back then. I still have it, I still cherish it, but he threw them out left and right back then. I almost made it through, but I passed out just after The Mark has been Made. Two sweet guys from behind me, I heard one say, "That’s not a good place to die." He and his friend picked me up and passed me to the front.
I stumbled out of the pit - still clutched that water bottle mind you. I found the first familiar figure in the crowd - incidentally the tallest, and passed out at meatheads feet. He laughed at me - rightfully so and dripped water on my head.
Just to point out, I survived longer then the boys.
This is everyone after the show.
I think I can legally post this, since it was not I who first posted it.
Jesus Christ can we all laugh at my hair and - and dear god what am I wearing!? Disregard the others in this photo, they are innocent. And if they look a fright, you must forgive them that as well, they have been through a war zone, the likes of which newer fans I fear have missed out on... Awful as it is, I'm glad this photo was taken when it was -
What's -
shhh don't -
don't say it.
don't even think it.
don't think.
the sun is
the sun is
the sun is
the sun is
45 minutes? (Sshhh shut the fuck up)
Uh...yeah I think so yeah?
After that the sky turned purple and we don't talk about it.
Oh my god, I just noticed my boots in another photo from that night. Yes these are the SAME ones I still wear to shows! God. look how shiny and nice they were nine fucking years ago. That’s it, I'm ordering those new platform boots tomorrow! Screw how much they cost.
Oh god, my poor old boots. Poor everything....9 years ago now I can't take it.
OK, I might do one more Fragility Post soon.
Where the fuck were you?
Green?
Cummy?
?
No I was someplace else. The Chan, was a world unto itself.....
Would I were it would not have mattered.... the band was long gone.
Long gone and silent as the snow and frigid nights that followed one after another. Silence upon silence and no one was talking.
They had gone and left for Europe, Australia - Japan... but when would they tour The States. We'd waited so long. So long. And now had to face the long dark of winter with out word from above.
Waiting. Waiting with out Twitter. Waiting with out a constant stream of updates. No photo blog, no live streams, HD video did not exist. Not a word was spoken or typed across the sea to us.
When word came - it did not come from him, but from Rob. And his words were brief at best.
We were not complaining. We thought we were. We thought we complained as bitterly as the cold outside - but it was nothing to the bitching now from those who have more then everything. Oh we were displeased - but there it was again. We elevated it all to such a status. We had the fear of god, we spoke out - but when we did so there was such an art to it. Euphemism upon euphemism. The words we used then were so carefully chosen, we functioned as if in Victorian Society. For all we had was language.
But I always had to be a punk, I did not know when to hold my tongue or my fingers, and that is when I began to falter.
Sarcasm.
But in the face of such strange beauty - as when they began to drift back to us.
I still remember.
It’s not so complex. I just loved the band. We all did, we all do.
Winter is almost over....
Signs of life - are you ready? ....we have all waited so long...
It's About Time Lily.
This photo, all of them, for the past nine years have meant everything to me... and not just for the obvious reasons.
"...it sounds like a garden under a sheet of ice..."
That too, but these were all taken on April 9, 1999. Just days before - THAT day.
That day - April 12
And there it is. April 12 - Cleveland. The first day of the tour.
"It's all coming back to you."
"And the days go by like a strand in the wind..."
Fly -
He says "Tonight!"
All of us - outside the Arena. We watch Robin walk in - I look down as he does - I wave - he waves back. Oh my god!
All of us hanging inside talking to Rob and Keith. Oh that was nothing then, he'd just be out every night. He was just a kid then as were any of us. I saw Jerome at the side of the stage. He signed my ticket! In under an hour night - I'd gone from never having met a band member to almost having met two.
The boy keeps joking "Convocation Center - Lets convocate over here." Oh there was quite a bit of convocating...
In the pit - My first pit mind you. I hear - dear god, I hear A Perfect Circle for the first time. The Hollow - there are no words.
We're waiting - I look over in the crowd, I'm five heads back just off center. "Carol," I look over about five people to the voice calling me - "Lev" I call back. We reach our hands out - just close enough, I grab his hand he grabs mine, he pulls me over now I'm dead center.
The New Flesh starts to play. We freak out. He looks down at his watch - he tells me they'd been playing that prior to taking the stage. "Six minutes' he says. We're freaking out. Five people back. We can't push forward anymore. The New Flesh - dear god. to this day - I can't hear it - or anything off Mer De Noms for that matter with out this pang from within - standing right back on that floor feeling that fucking crashing insane anticipation - and dear god -
PINION!
I rip forward through the crowd. Two heads back - - - - -
NAILS!
So there you are. I was dying. Dying. Pits now pale in comparison. That and being a few heads back, I nearly died. Literally, I would have passed out.... had I not gotten one of his water bottles! Oh it wasn't that special back then. I still have it, I still cherish it, but he threw them out left and right back then. I almost made it through, but I passed out just after The Mark has been Made. Two sweet guys from behind me, I heard one say, "That’s not a good place to die." He and his friend picked me up and passed me to the front.
I stumbled out of the pit - still clutched that water bottle mind you. I found the first familiar figure in the crowd - incidentally the tallest, and passed out at meatheads feet. He laughed at me - rightfully so and dripped water on my head.
Just to point out, I survived longer then the boys.
This is everyone after the show.
I think I can legally post this, since it was not I who first posted it.
Jesus Christ can we all laugh at my hair and - and dear god what am I wearing!? Disregard the others in this photo, they are innocent. And if they look a fright, you must forgive them that as well, they have been through a war zone, the likes of which newer fans I fear have missed out on... Awful as it is, I'm glad this photo was taken when it was -
What's -
shhh don't -
don't say it.
don't even think it.
don't think.
the sun is
the sun is
the sun is
the sun is
45 minutes? (Sshhh shut the fuck up)
Uh...yeah I think so yeah?
After that the sky turned purple and we don't talk about it.
Oh my god, I just noticed my boots in another photo from that night. Yes these are the SAME ones I still wear to shows! God. look how shiny and nice they were nine fucking years ago. That’s it, I'm ordering those new platform boots tomorrow! Screw how much they cost.
Oh god, my poor old boots. Poor everything....9 years ago now I can't take it.
OK, I might do one more Fragility Post soon.
posted by Datura Thom Heap at 10:33 AM
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