Cross The Desert Part 1: Leaving Santa Fe

Cell phone alarm goes off at 4:30 am. This is it, this is the big one. I look at the directions again – 25 south, I get that, 40 West for over 600 miles, I have no problem with that – there’s still an ass load of steps once I hit LA.

I check out of the hotel – Fuck it’s cold. I’m wrapped in a blanket and hoodies – I drive down the street to pick up my necessary provisions Iced Coffee From Starbucks.

OK. 2 Iced Coffees, Yahoo Directions, A days worth of Luna and Cliff bars and my perfectly mixed 13 hour play list split over 10 discs. Lets do this shit.


Track 1-
dropped off the edge again down in juarez
"don't even bat an eye
if the eagle cries" the rasta man says
just cause the desert likes-


Well He lit you up
like Amber Waves in his
movie show…

Sobbing, because this feels like the culmination of everything this year, and how perfect it all was. Was.

“You say "there's not a lot
of me
left anymore --
just leave it alone.”

Remembering the March morning I woke up with Amber in my head, only to find he’d released a new record, and with it hope…

So I went by
cause I had the time,
and told the Northern Lights
to keep shining
they told me to tell you --
they're waving


There is only one track to play…

on my way up north
up on the Ventura
I pulled back the hood
and I was talking to you
and I knew then it would be
a Life Long thing
but I didn't…


Down New Mexico way
something about
the open road
I knew that he was
looking for some Indian Blood and
find a little in you find a little
in me we may be
on this road but
we're just
Impostors
in this country you know…
… I don't know what
takes hold
out there in the
desert cold-

I - I don't -
didn't think
we'd end up like
like this

Tell me that day back in 2000 trapped on a train. Tell me back in 2003 this would all come back as it has, but I’m here. Flying down South 25 doing 85 mph – to see him. Really?


Track 4-
Track 5 - Kind of hard
Hard to see
When you crawl
On your hands and your knees

Yeah, like, actually.


I need your discipline
I need your help
I need your discipline
You know once I start I cannot help myself

Christ, I can’t believe he fucking did that at Red Rocks. Fuck – is he doing it on the record to?! Oh GOD he is – I never fucking noticed that What the Fuck!?!

I. Can. Not. Stop. Myself.
Once I start I cannot stop myself
And you know
Once I start I cannot stop myself


If there is no time, and there is no place.
And, if there was, well, you'd never leave a trace
And as all arch angels do to you
And as all arch enemies will finally do to you, too
Well, I found you-

It seems like a 1,000 days, since you've been gone -


And if the sun warms up the rain,
And the rain puts out the sun
Why does the greatest love become the greatest pain?


Well maybe I'm just thinking that the rooms are all on fire
Everytime that you walk in the room
Ooh, well there is magic all around you, if I do say so myself...
Well I have known this much longer than I've known you

Long nets of white cloud my memory...
Long nets of white cloud my memory...


Yes, I know you
Tho we've been out of touch
Yes, I know you
To be continued, it's too much baby


I can't wait...I can't wait
Well, I've got to know when I can see you again, now baby
I can't wait...I can't wait
Am I wasting my time while you make up your mind
Well, I can't wait...I can't wait


Yes, I know you
Tho we've been out of touch
I can't wait...I can't wait
What can I do when I'm crazy for you


Where have all the cowboys gone?

I am wearing my new dress tonight, but you don’t even notice me -

(Do not pin your hopes on the Rock Star-
You go to sleep in this army you wake up with another soldier,
-that’s just how it is.
And if you don’t like it, why the hell are you still fighting?)


Where have all the cowboy’s gone?

(These girls have long since learned,
-they have to be their own cowboys.)

Where have all the cowboys gone?

("Cowboys know, Cowgirls ride, on the Indian’s side.")






Lord, there goes Johnny Appleseed
He might pass by in the hour of need
There's a lot of souls
Ain't drinking from no well locked in a factory

Hey - look there goes
Hey - look there goes
If you're after getting the honey - hey
Then you don't go killing all the bees


I don't want it no more
I don't want it no more


And it's mine on my own
Yes, it's mine all alone
As I cry for you
Yes, I'll die for you
Pain in my heart, it is real
And I'll take
Everything as it comes my way
Feel in my heart it's for you
And I'll lie for you as I die for you
Pain in my heart it is real
And I'll tell you now
How I feel inside
Fuck you
It's for you


You can have my isolation, you can have the hate that it brings
You can have my absence of faith, you can have my everything


you say the world is getting rid of her DEMONS
i say baby, what have you been smokin'


Vows are spoken
To be broken
Feelings are intense
Words are trivial
Pleasures remain
So does the pain
Words are meaningless
And forgettable

All I ever wanted
All I ever needed
Is here in my arms
Words are very unnecessary
They can only do harm

Enjoy the silence


Scar tissue that I wish you saw
Sarcastic mister know it all
Close your eyes and I’ll kiss you ’cause
With the birds I’ll share
With the birds I’ll share
This lonely view
With the birds I’ll share
This lonely view

Push me up against the wall
Young Kentucky girl in a push-up bra
Fallin’ all over myself
To lick your heart and taste your health ’cause
With the birds I’ll share
This lonely view...



Soft spoken with a broken jaw
Step outside but not to brawl
Autumn’s sweet we call it fall
I’ll make it to the moon if I have to crawl and
With the birds I’ll share
This lonely view...


Scar tissue that I wish you saw
Sarcastic mister know it all
Close your eyes and I’ll kiss you ’cause
With the birds I’ll share
With the birds I’ll share
This lonely view
With the birds I’ll share
This lonely view...


if I could fix myseld I'd - but it's too late for me

I wont let you fall apart

we'll find the perfect place to go where we can run and hide


He couldve tuned in, tuned in
But he tuned out
A bad time, nothing could save him
Alone in a corridor, waiting, locked out
He got up outta there, ran for hundreds of miles
He made it to the ocean, had a smoke in a tree
The wind rose up, set him down on his knee


Hes.. flying
Whole
High.. wide, oh


He floated back down cause he wanted to share
His key to the locks on the chains he saw everywhere
But first he was stripped and then he was stabbed
By faceless men, well, fuckers
He still stands

And he still gives his love, he just gives it away
The love he receives is the love that is saved


And sometimes is seen a strange spot in the sky
A human being that was given to fly

High.. flying
Oh, oh
High.. flying
Oh, oh


And I stopped driving because I needed to actually walk on the desert... It was beautiful. I post about that tomorrow.