LA Forum Part 1: Where is the Line With You?

My first morning in LA. Home – almost. Back in the same state as the band and the rest of the team, almost caught back up with the tour. This is me hugging a palm tree…it’s a thing a friend and I used to do back in high school (OH FUCK! I just remember I meant to e-mail her back in December!!! God I suck at returning e-mails…)


I met back up with Flo and Marie – we were all happy to see each other again. They had a rough night in the Salt Lake City pit, and I had a rough drive the night before! So we got to doing our usual thing.

It’s astounding how quickly the hours pass when I’m hanging out with the girls. We laugh and laugh. I’m still surprised by how much we have in common – perhaps more so than any other fan. I can’t tell you how cool it is to find someone so much on the same wavelength in terms of the band.


We also talk about how it is the end, how it is sad, and how they will be back in France in a few hours. It seems like a week ago we were doing this for the first show, and at the same time, it feels like six months ago sorta. Time gets so fucked when one tours. The girls are really modest and don’t really blog or post and really don’t want to be anywhere near a spot light. That is part of why I don’t post about them so much but – I would be remiss if I did not say how cool they are – and how bad ass they are in terms of what they do to travel – they are like, the biggest fans. And the fact that they just do it so quietly and peacefully just makes you love them that much more. I wish I could share some of their crazy stories about travels and their crazy issues with airport security, but that would make them sad.


I’ll just go on about how cool I think it is that the venue looks like a Greek Temple. Greece and it’s myths mean a lot to my. That the other big influence on my artwork –not to mention I officially became Riot in Greece…yeah it’s this crazy long story – but that’s for another day.


Wait, where’s the front line in Oakland?


Feel free to laugh – yes it’s ridiculous – almost as much as my hair in this photo.


So it was an interesting night – By the time I’d woken up at 6, our heroes had arrived. Sarah and Anthony stopped by in the night and gave us their number. They came while I’d passed out, and I was super super happy to have them with us.

Sarah and I met a while back, and Anthony I knew as Miyan from Spiral. We started talking just before that Crazy Year Zero shoot out. I thought of him before the show, I figured he being LA based might be at the show and so I was hoping to get to meet him since he was so nice online. He introduced himself and I was SO happy! Dude – He’s awesome – he got the AIR flag as a TAT!

So, then me and Sarah, who’s also super awesome – and it’s because of her I have Closure DVD BTW – we got into her car and we went and got coffee. And then Abby came and we went back to the hotel to shower and get ready.


Here we are being girly.


Sarah – with her AWSOME blue hair – I love it. And there’s Abby, still in her Pjs.


I made Abby take a pic of me in the dress with the venue behind me. Look its all Greek I love it. I look sorta pissy in this pic…I wasn’t really – I just wasn’t as overly happy as I usually am because after all the insanity of the previous week – I was really really tired.


Here’s another shot of the Ghosts Dress. Gotta make sure to get good pics of the dresses before I wear them into the pit. You never know – it could very easily be the last time I can wear it – lest it get destroyed in the pit!


They moved the line and we all get cranky. Look! See the two girls off to the left? Those are my girls Kayla and Tessa. I’d met Kayla on Myspace earlier this year – she is super nice and so is Tessa. I love them both – they are part of the new generation of Nails fans who are going to lead the future of the fan base. I met A LOT of really cool people at this show – I got to see mistakablyme again and Yoshata and her mom – lots of cool people.


Look – this is part of why we are so cranky – there was this whole huge venue – all with an overhang and lots of shade, but that is not where they chose to put us. For the last time – these venues need to learn --- Don’t put The Vampire Nine Inch Nails Fans out in the sun!!! All us pasty little kids weren’t meant to take on this kind of intense daylight!!


There’s my heroes – Anthony and Sarah! OK I know she didn’t mean to wear that all day – but I absolutely loved her shorts and boots! It was so Glory of the 90s!!


I tried to use my dress as sun block and threw it over my face and my shoulders. This is me – I’m trying to get a hold of myself. I was thinking where I was nearly 9 years ago to the day. I was – and still am so lucky. I tried to stay positive, but Abby made me cry.

We got into this fight…and given I was so over tired, I was really emotional. She was all – I’m so over TR – and he doesn’t care about his fans and that she was going to retire. I got so upset. I was kneeling on the ground in the parking lot and I started to cry. I don’t want to think he doesn’t care – and even if he doesn’t – part of what I have come to realize is it doesn’t matter.

He’s here, but he’s not. He is here as much as he can be. All we ever really have is each other – and that’s the best thing in the world. This is my family - I love everyone. While Abby was alone on her drive, she realized TR wasn't worth it, but I had come realize the opposite. He has given back to me - to aall of us. What more can he do? Was I wrong all this time? I was so emmotinal to begin with that day - and Abby just kept saying she would leave and kept telling me he didn’t – so it was too much, I told her I needed to be alone.

This was the first show where I didn’t draw. I was losing my grip because I wasn’t drawing. I knelt on the ground in the parking lot – I picked up a rock, and I wrote on the ground the names of my characters. I wrote their names and then I remembered everything and I wasn't afraid anymore. I also hoped that no one could see me – imagine how stupid I musta looked! But now I just told you all so feel free to laugh at my stupidity. -Anyways, then I went back to the line started to tell Abby how I felt – then there was more line drama and well, then I went off to try and settle that situation. This poor security guard was about to get killed. I feel bad, imagine the crazy system we have and trying to understand it? Imagine having to deal with the likes of rapid Nails fans who’ve been out in the sun all day!?


And then the line moved again – and then there was more line drama. And Jen – who we all know and love who works for Nails – she did an awesome job of diffusing a really ugly situation, despite the fact that she was getting yelled at an awful lot.


Look! Sarah again sporting the new fashion trend she is starting! Sometimes kids – what with all the line drama – one does not have ample time to go back to one’s car and change. This was not Sarah’s intended attire for the evening, but it is no less loved by me because her fucking boots are amazing!

As Abby would later put it perfectly when describing line/mosh pit situations where you can’t drink water use the bathroom or even move – “You’re denied your basic human rights.” It’s true! I kinda look at it like some ritualistic fasting thing. You know, kinda some sacred sacrifice for the profound experience…but she’s got a point!

Also by then we'd totally made up. Abby and I are like sisters, we fight like this. It's what we do 'cuz we love each other, and being in situations such as she described can drive anyone inot cranky fighting.


Line Drama – still raging. It’s OK, just smile and laugh about it. Really it’s all you can do. We gout our tickets, we said thank you and good-bye to Jen. I realized as I walked away, I didn’t even think to ask. I’m very happy.


They moved the line again! And then again! This is me and Erin in what was it by this point – the seventh line? Eh who knows – but I do know one thing! Erin had just gotten a lovely new addition to the Spiral Tat on her back. Guess Guess!! She got the Auto-Tat!!! Yeah she and her friends bumped into TR and the gang the day prior so she was totally sporting TR’s sig and we were all super happy for her! Look can’t you see the post Auto-Tat glow?


Tribute to Justin!!! This is a pic Abby took of Sarah getting ready for her Survivalism Stunt! They found out where the cam was gonna go then were gonna whip out the Justin Fro Wigs for the performance! Now – I saw TR move the camera – I was told later he put it on them! I searched my pics and through You Tube and haven’t come up with a clear shot of them on the Survivalism Cam. But it did happen – it was super awesome and I’m so so happy they got on it! How cool is that!? So if anyone knows where there’s good footage – still or video – please let me know so I can send it to them! Or if you know them, just send them links.

So – after fun with wigs – we needed to sort out the problem of Marie not having a Pre-Sale ticket. Again – through the help of a bunch of fans, we were able to get her one. I love it. Everyone is so kind and helpful. Even when they moved the line 2 more times and there was even more drama worse then before – I still saw fans trying to help others.


So finally – after the worst line moving craziness ever – we made it! Just barely. I was exhausted! I seriously didn’t think I was going to survive the show – look at my sunburn don’t I just look awful!?


Look there’s everyone – see look – there is Anna. Anna does not get written about nearly enough, gods forgive me, but she is a really special lady despite the fact that she is not represented enough. But there we three are. The other two are on my right (left in the photo) No photos of course because the don’t let me take any – let alone post them!


Deer Hunter. I felt really sick during Deer Hunter – I nearly passed out. It was scary. “Are you OK!?” One of the security guards had asked, “You’re really burnt – have you been drinking enough water?” I said yes, but as was discussed earlier – of course I hadn’t been drinking water! I hadn’t even eaten enough Luna bars. I was short two and I was totally feeling it…


Drifting away – up into the spaceship always with TR drifting away on the spaceship. "Satalite Noah". Where am I?

“Why don’t you charge for these?” the security guard asked. “Charge for the flags!? – silly – that defeats the purpose entirely!” Then he was kind enough to give me water and I started to come back. I got a second wind – just in time.


“All right ladies this is the last time – do you feel good!?”


Let’s DO this shit!!!

Tomorrow - The LA show!!