Riot's First Show

See, I haven’t been posting in quite a while. Barnaby would be so disappointed. The truth is, I’ve been doing other things with my Internet time. ( – No not those things!!!) So let me go ahead and post some stuff, so I can prove that I actually have done cool artist shit...

Here’s a fascinating post about my first quasi-real art show! Remember this drawing?



See, I was climbing in off the fire escape where I’d been out using toxic chemicals on art at 4:30 am is (Crash didn’t like when I used spray paint in the apartment – can’t imagine why.) (You know why – he liked it better when I sprayed it outside his window – he could get high off the fumes better!) That summer – I was working dealing with getting my Masters at S.V.A. and making artwork - all of which I did in preparation for this show:



Here is a shot of my first mention in Gallery Guide (Yes- I actually have had more then one…)



I felt that invite was not colorful enough, so I made my own to send to my peeps. (Yes I do have peeps – they are made of marshmallows, shaped like duckies, and covered in what else – but purple glittery sprinkles)



Here also, is a shot from the show, which opened on September 10th of 2002. I will be posting better photos in a few days. Just have to ransack the other computer first….

My absence from the forum floor

(Old drawing I did - 2004 "Dear God, What Have you Done!?")

I have taken a voluntary leave of absence from my position once  again. I suppose you could say I ran again. This, however, will be a  much shorter break, and it is not a break from the band itself, but  rather, politics.

There have been comments as to my absence from the Emerald Hall, and  so I thought I should address them here formally.

For those of you who do not know about The Emerald Hall, this is the  name given to the official meeting place for fans, just off the  grounds of the Celestial compound. It was given that name due to the  color of the walls. Ezra chose the color in the mid 90’s. For those  of you who don’t know Ezra, he is on of the better known Gards. He  joined the Celestial Army during the era of unrest and Fan Civil War.  He is most known for risking his own life to quell the nightly  battles between the new fans and the old fans. Through his bravery  and soapbox preaching, he was instrumental in helping bring about  peace between the generations of fans. Oh, and his favorite color is  Green – that’s what color his hair is too.

Enough about Ez, back to The Hall. –Photographs are not allowed  anywhere within the Hall. I’ll draw something one of these days.  Debates and discussions about Celestial, the band, the Gards, or even  politics amongst the fans themselves are discussed at great length.  Oh we can go on for hours. Debates can be very formal, as fans tend  to take things very seriously. At other times, they deteriorate into  lengthy discussions about enemas, this usually happens when the bar  is in operation.

Yes the meeting hall has a bar, and it serves liquor. The Emerald  Hall has been used for many wild parties. This is not common  practice; a great number of fans are under age. A greater number of  them are nerds, and despite the massive gathering and a giant dance  hall with a bar – most cannot drag themselves away from the Debate  Floor.


(My Photo - The House)

(My Photo - The woods surrounding The Hall)

Well, I’ve had to drag myself from the debate floor. Discussion once  again has deteriorated into politics, gossip, and all out fighting –  mostly between the younguns in Status Gard. Sadly - this, of course,  is when the conversation is most interesting. Seriously, it’s like  Jerry Springer, I can’t look away. “Seizure Seizure Seizure!” I love  it, a little too much. I’ve found I was spending too much time on the  council, watching the others go at it. Stupidly trying to get  involved (what can I say, I like trouble too much). I could spend all  day just watching the sparks fly! And that’s just it – I need to  spend all day working. So that kids, is why I will not be taking my  seat on the Gard Council, and will not be speaking on the floor of  the Emerald Hall for quite some time. I prefer to experience the band  for what it is, not for what it can be dragged down into.

Athens 1

At one point, I was in Greece. This photo was taken the first night we were in Athens. I'll have a lot to say about Greece after this weekend. I'm going to be away on assignment.....

Old Broken Ties with Rock Star

“Renholder” -- This is a drawing I did of me, on the balcony of our old apartment. See, this is when I broke ties with Rock Star about five years ago.

My love/hate relationship… well, I loved him too far, and I needed to stop doing that shit. I’d exhausted too much of myself, my sanity my dignity for him. He was pissing me off – lying in interview, talking shit about his fans. I didn’t want to waste my energy obsessing over him anymore. However, I realized, I would always have such obsessive tendencies – so I decided to invest all that effort into my own artwork. So I blew off Band, and Rock star and became work-a-holic artist. Everyone I knew was work-a-holic anyway.

You know he was slowing me down – oh that and one of my best friends among the Gards died in the line of duty! Where the fuck was he - Why didn’t he at least let us go find her when she didn’t return home after her failed mission for him!? The others wouldn’t accept that she died unnecessarily. The others saw her death as beautiful and romantic since it was for him. Goth kids are dumb sometimes. They saw her cleaned up and pretty in her coffin – they didn’t have to find her that night -they didn't have to carry her home like Crash and I did. They still saw Rock Star as perfect and hot, and infallible blah blah blah. Crash and I knew better – so that was the main reason we left. (I’ll get to the other reason’s later).



“Vacant” is an Illustration I did of Crash and I in our apartment. We shared this lil crappy place in NYC for about a year when we left the band. I think this pretty much sums up how we lived – working 5 jobs combined going to school, ignoring e-mails from the Celestial team, writing papers, doing our own creative stuff when we could, - not sleeping - you know – same old shit as everyone. Yeah, we ran from Rock Star all right.

I shot myself in the foot on my way out the door. Twice.

Yes, I had my own art to invest myself fully in – but it is still – all about him.

Every road leads back to rock star. Even as I shouted to the heavens – my official final “I hate the band and I’m leaving” speech to Crash – just as I screamed my final – Fuck you to Celestial and his Heavens – I cried out “And why the hell is it so fucking hot in here!?” Why? Why was it so hot in that Soho diner – because even the heater that was blasting heat directly on me from above bears his fucking name – that’s why.

As for the other time I shot myself in the foot – Let’s not go there.

My Latest Endeavors...

Let’s see, I should post something. You know who I am – I am Riot. I work for a Rock Star; I am part of his security team known as Gard. Gard is comprised of die – hard fans, some trained some un-trained who willing fight and die for the Glory of Celestial. Celestial is Rock Star, for security reasons, I won’t use his name much. Plus, everyone knows it, plus, people talk about him far too much. Entire societies, and halls exist solely to talk about him… We all know what a great influence
he has been on music. He has great songs, we love him, blah blah blah.



I myself have a love hate relationship with Rock Star. Mostly, I hate that I love him. Pisses me off sometimes – but; truth be told, I probably wouldn’t be where I am with out him. I have a career as an artist, and my art is based on the work I have done with the other fans for Rock Star. My work has been shown internationally - New York, London, and Miami. It’s been on the cover of the New York Times… blah blah blah. It all happened because I followed him so disgustingly far.

Speaking of disgustingly far… let me bring people up to speed on my latest endeavors. Recently, Celestial has implemented a concept known as Status Gard. This basically makes honorary Gards of certain members of the fan base. All they must do is pay an annual membership fee, and take an oath to protect the band and the others fans if it becomes necessary. See, Cel’s transformation from God to human has made us more of a target and more vulnerable. Sucks. So, this controversial system was put into place, in case god for fucking bid it should become necessary.

Well, it should be too much of a surprise, but some fans took the idea of Status Gard very seriously. Basically, a bunch of the new, younger fans decided they should be in charge of the whole of Status Gard. They banded together and attended every single show of the tour. At every show they claimed leadership of the Status Gard. This was all unauthorized of course. -And quite difficult I might add! Status Gard is for the most part unofficial – they must take care of their own lodging, food and traveling. Most members of this Ultra Status Gard go days with out sleeping or showing! For those of us in official Gard, it’s quite another story of course. Five Star Hotels, armada of Tour busses, perdiem, catering, our coveted sexy Gard uniforms…

I myself have been at this for years. I must admit – I am quite a princess. True, I fight dirtier then most of the boys – but at the end of the day, I want to be spending my time between shows doing my nails and worrying about what to wear to the next show! (Once you hit Elite Gard and up, it’s pretty much expected you will customize your gear – or have it done for you… I’ll tell everyone about my gear later)

Now I must admit to something I have been holding back for quite sometime now. I recently did something quite devious, which lead to my doing many things I am not entirely proud of. For the last leg of the tour, I became intentionally entangled with some of the Status Grad’s more notorious self-proclaimed leaders. I did so with the aid of many kind an unsuspecting members of Status Gard. (Vision, Midsummer, if you are reading this, I am most sorry to you both. Sa Lews, and De Vars, you shouldn’t be surprised…)



As I said earlier, I have been at this for years. I know how ugly fans can get toward each other. We are all (though no one likes to admit it) competing for his attention (though we all know not one of us will receive it – even if we are the last one standing). I was completely freaked out and nervous at the start of the tour. I knew exactly what I was getting myself into, and exactly how it would all play out in the end. However, I went into it prepare – I hate my notebook, I took names – I took hundreds of photos, and I took hours of video as well!** Oh YouTube the things I could do through you now…

All that said, the shit is still fresh and steaming on the fan. I think it best I not post the debacle of the summer tour just yet. Look for it to surface in the future, perhaps else where, at a show perhaps. Just not here. Not now. Fear not, I have plenty of Weird crap to post about old shows, both my own and Celestials. I’ll catch up on the distant past, then we'll see about the not so distant past.




**Don’t think me so wicked. Of course the main reason I do it is to see him. Years of trying to get away from him only drew me back, closer to him. But it is kinda my job to make fun of the things we all do – myself especially for his sake.