Rock Star Thanksgiving: The 2006 Rerun

ReRun Blog!

What? Yeah, I'm sorry. I'm having a tough time updating this week due to...some "things". I also realize I'm a bit late...due to the same "things" but I wanted to Re-Post some of my past Rock Star Thanksgiving Post. In them I cook and do all sorts of silly stuff. I thouhgt, we could all have some laughs and since the recipes totally work for Christmas as well, I thought I would share. I may have no confidence in my sewing skillz - but I can cook like nobody's business!!!

But before you read and get confused, let me explain the names changes and such.

You see, when I first started writing this Blog- it was inside jokes between me and a few of my friends in the art world. So basically these were written in character, using all the names of the characters in my books. When I first started showing with a gallery, I had a thing that I did not want discuss - at art world functions - the source of my inspiration. A lot has changed since then, and while I still feel a little weird explaining it to art people - I think everyone reading this knows who I am referring to.

So - now that we know this is a cute lil inside joke, everyone have fun reading it. I really like Thanksgiving and I loved writing these - And like I said, there's a lot of fun recipes you should all totally try!!! (Some Rock Star/Artist I make in real life eh? I cook and I sew!!)


Rock Star Thanksgiving - 2006


Thanksgiving around here raises a few interesting questions. For example, what exactly does a band and a small army of its fans living in a secluded estate do for Thanksgiving? Well kids, we do the same thing everyone else does – eat food and drink alcohol when the family (or in our case other fans) gets on our nerves!

Of course, there’s no catering when we’re not on tour, so somebody’s gotta cook. Guess who cooked dinner for everyone! Yeah that’s right me. So, I thought, I would share some of my recipes. Here’s my special recipe for cornbread that I totally made up.

Stuffing

Serves 24
2 1 8-inch pan of cornbread. Cut into cubes.
18 slices of hearth bread, cubed
5 stalks celery, sliced
2 yellow onions, finely chopped
2 cups dried cranberries
20 apple rings, chopped
1 jar (14.8 oz.) French chestnuts
6 Tbs. chopped fresh sage
6 Tbs. chopped fresh flat-leaf parsley
3 bay leafs
2 tsp dried thyme
Salt, to taste
Ground pepper, to taste
2 cups chicken or vegetable broth
1 more cup

The day before Thanksgiving:
While you cook, go for a marathon of Daniel Bolye movies “28 Days Later” & “The Beach” are great Thanksgiving Classics. Plus “The Beach” has one of the coolest end titles sequences of all time. Cut up the bread around noon into 1-inch cubes. Put all the bread into a basket and cover it loosely with paper towels. Impress your family by showing them the deserted shots of London and learn some new foreign terms. For example “Budgens” = British super market.



That Selnea's awsome!

The day of Thanksgiving:
By now, you should be watching the parade, and playing your own music, because three minutes in you will have remembered how much you hate the hokey show tunes. I recommend David Bowie’s live BBC performance, and “Season Song” by Blue States (You’ll remember this as the closing theme from “28 Days Later”)



Chop up the onions and the celery. Melt 4 tablespoons butter in a large skillet over medium-low heat. Or screw the butter and just use Pam. Add onion and celery. Cook until vegetables until they smell nice and are pretty golden brown. Put them into a small Tupperware in the fridge for later.

Spread cornbread and hearth bread on a cookie sheet and bake until its brown and crunchy, this should take a half hour. While you wait - Watch some fun floats and do a little dance to the time honored classic Thanksgiving tune – “Bella Lugosi’s Dead” by Bauhaus (Though, I highly recommend the version that features TV on The Radio, Trent Reznor and Uncle Peter Murphy). One the bread is cooked, return it to the basket with the paper towels and be careful not to drop the crumbs on the nice clean floor. “Oh! Bella! I’m dead I’m dead I’m dead!”

Now mix together the cranberries and all the dried herbs. Mix that up, put it in a Tupperware and set it aside.

Almost dinnertime. By now you should be good and toasted from the Wassail (see recipe). If not, hurry up and chug! Get a small saucepan and heat 2 cups of broth. Once it gets warm, and the celery and onion mix. Do your best to ignore family members (or in my case groupies) who by now will surely be pestering you as to how long it will be until dinner. No matter what tell them a half hour! (Although you and I well know it will be a lot closer to 2 hours!) Stir the onions a while and switch to the cranberry cocktail. It’ll hit you quicker. Now add the cranberry and seasonings mix to the stock. Let that simmer on the lowest heat on the back burner a while.



Have other family members (or in my case band members) deal with the turkey. Cut up 2 granny smith apples and don’t worry about being precise or “slow” when doing so. Add the apples to a big pot. Then add the chestnuts. Now very carefully put all the bread chunks into the pot and stir the mix.

As soon as the Turkey is out, and the oven is free - Add one more cup of broth directly to the dry mix and very quickly add the shit from the stove. Mix that well. Put all the stuffing into a big ‘ol foil pan or something and bake it in a 350°F oven for 30 minutes, or until brown and crispy.



Riot’s Helpful Thanksgiving Tip

Don’t let Stupid NBC try to trick you. After the parade is over, they will lie to you and tell you that the Westminster pussy cunt Dog show is a Holiday tradition, which as we all know is complete and total bullshit. Anyone who was born within the over 3 years ago knows damn well the only holiday traditional thing to watch after the parade is “It’s a Wonderful Life.” Heehaw - come on now. Dog show my ass. There’s nothing like a bunch of leather clad industrial rockers and their fans getting all weepy over Jimmy Stewart hollerin' about his bleeding lip to put you in the holiday spirit. “Mary! Mary! AW KIDS!!!” Yeah, that’s right, Papa Celeste.

So while you’re getting out the Bauhaus burnt Cds from Sa Lews, don’t forget to bring down the Special Edition DVD of “It’s a Wonderful Life”, and pop that in after Santa makes his Grand Entrance on Herald Square. Santa – now there’s one Crazy Diva Rock Star. (Don’t worry Papa Celeste; you’ll always be our favorite. Santa can’t bring us what we really want for Christmas anyways; only you and your blessed pre-sales can do that!)

Thanksgiving Part 2:



Here’s a few more Rock Star Thanksgiving recipes that I totally made up from various sources. It’s pretty sad, between my sewing and now my cooking – I’ve become some weird groupie version of Martha Stewart or something.

Caramel Apple Sauce


3 Granny Smith Apples
4 Red and Delicious Apples
1/2 a pack of Caramel Apple dip stuff
1 cinnamon stick
1/4 cup of dark brown sugar
Up to 1/2 cup of white sugar
1 cup of water
1/2 teaspoon of salt

Put all ingredients into a large pot. Cover. Bring to boil. Lower heat and simmer for 20-30 minutes and remove from heat. Remove cinnamon stick. Mash with potato masher. Unless you’re like stupid Rock Star and don’t own one – Resorting to a fork will suck big time, but it will work eventually. Simmer that a bit more then store it.




Broccoli, Cauliflower & Random Peas

Lots of Broccoli
Lots of Cauliflower
Peas
Pam or Faux butter
PAPRIKA!

Around 1 am the night before Thanksgiving – Put on Letterman – its Thanksgiving Tradition! He will make reference to the infamous Richard Simmons appearance – Prank Call the Butterball hotline – And he’ll have Rupert help a guest throw a turkey of the roof of the Ed Sullivan Theater into a Vat of Gravy on 54th Street!!!!!!

Cut and clean all the broccoli & green beans tonight. Trust me you’ll be too tired in a few hours to be using sharp objects. Put the pre-cut veggies into Tupperware’s and into the fridge. Now tomorrow you’ll feel like Martha Stewart with pre-made ingredients!!

In the morning, after lots of coffee, and making the carrots (see below) Pam some frying pans. Simmer the green beans in a bit of water. Pam another pan – simmer the cauliflower. Ok guess what, Pam a pan, simmer the peas. Once the water is gone – Sauté the veggies. Add PAPRIKA! To each veggie then transfer all that into a big pot mix it up. Now take that put it in a Tupper ware and save it for later.


Maple Carrots

Serves 4–5
• 25 baby carrots, peeled,
• 1/4-cup water
• 2 TB maple syrup
• Dash of salt
Ground Cloves
Ground Ginger
1/4 cup of flour
1/4 cup of brown sugar

Ok, on Thanksgiving Day, get up at like 5 am. Seriously. Dude, that’s why they make coffee, Watch some Modonna concerts while you have coffee. Her butt looks great at any hour of the morning. So, once you have coffee, make carrots, it’s the easiest one to do when you’re tired. Put on some music and do the little dance from the Confessions tour. No one else is up anyway so no one will laugh.



Boil water. While the water boils, put the carrots in big bowl. Fuck what the recipe says - Dump half a thing of Maple syrup onto the carrots. Add the rest of the ingredients. The water should be boiling now – if not – Madonna goofy dance. Add the carrots let them simmer a while. Cook until most of liquid evaporates, stirring frequently, approximately 8 minutes. Keep stirring them and add more of any ingredient you feel necessary. Uncover, stir, and cook one more minute.

Whew!! By now the carrots should be done– quit screwing around with the carrots and the Madonna dance and get to the Broccoli!


Green Bean & Water Chestnuts

INGREDIENTS
2 bags of fresh green beans, trimmed
3 (8 ounce) can sliced water chestnuts, drained
2 cups of sliced fresh mushrooms
1 can of Amy’s Cream of Mushroom Soup
1/4-teaspoon pepper
1/8-teaspoon salt

DIRECTIONS

Actually, my bad. You’re gonna make this the night before when David Letterman is on. By the time you finish this and get to cutting the other stuff, Craig Fergusson will be on talking about Naughty little Dunkeys.



Pam 3 frying pans. Simmer the green beans in a wee bit of water. Do the same for the shrooms and the water chestnuts. Sauté everything a bit, then combine everything into a big pot. Now Add the can of Amy’s Soup = and make sure it’s Amys – don’t be lame and get Campbell’s! Leave that over a low heat – just make sure you don’t miss the big Turkey Drop off the Ed Sullivan Theater! It’s freakin awesome every time!



********
Back to 2008

Woo Hoo! So That was Re-run '06 I hope everyone enjoyed it. Now remember that was all a joke. The only Rock Stars I actually live with are my nephews! And again, I apologize for the lack of more recent updates which include photos of actual Rock Star, but I'm still away an unable to upload new photos.

In the meantime - everyone stay tuned for Re-Run '07 very soon!

Sewing Nails Dresses

So this is sort of a special blog post in honor of the fact that another awesome Nails fan is in the process of making her own version of one of my dresses. So since I’m kinda totally honored by the fact that she wants to do this – I thought now would be a good time to share some of my stories behind making dresses; partially in case she runs into trouble – but mostly so we can all have a laugh at just how spastic I am when it comes to having to put these freaking things together…

So – and this goes to anyone who wants to start sewing their own nails gear – if you screw up, don’t’ feel bad ‘cuz you can’t be any worse then me.

I have NO idea what I’m doing. I had no formal training what so ever in sewing. I think someone once made fun of me online saying my dress looked like something someone made in home ec. In truth – I WISH I’d made such a thing in home ec! I might actually have a clue what the heck I’m doing! My mum didn’t even sew when I was growing up, so everything I’ve done – I totally cheated and just did as half ass as I could!!! (I don’t even know different stitches or how to hem!)



So – the way I make a dress generally is I’ll be doing something, then I will have some crazy idea



Which I will actually be crazy enough to carry out. But before I go from my out their ideas, I have to figure out how to make the damn things – which provides a unique challenge and a pain in my ass every time.



I’m gonna use my Only Dress as an example. As many of you know who’ve seen me in it – it poses quite a few problems even after having been finished.



I got the idea for it on the plane ride back from another show. For a long time, I’d wanted to make a Nails dress that had some sort of rhinestones or ornate beading on it. I thought Only, given the pin motif would work well so I drew that out. Now for some reason I thought it would be a cool looking dress if it were a halter top and backless. I really liked this idea for some reason.

At the same time, I also thought it would be kinda cool to do the logo for it out of threads and have it be floating. I wasn’t quite sure how that would work, but I fell in love with the idea and really wanted to figure out a way. So, that was a problem, and all though I wasn’t smart enough to know it at the time, having the treads would mean having a different neckline – which as some of us knew would cause some serious issues later on.



Once I wrap my head around the physics of these things – the next thing I need to do is make a pattern. With Only, what I did was use a dress form that I made based off one of my sculptures. It’s from a plaster mold that was cast off me, so its kind of convenient to have this thing since it’s pretty accurate. I measured the whole thing out – and using a grid I was able to figure out how to lay out the patterns for it.

Other times, I might have patterns left over from older dresses, which I will then just tweak. In fact, I think if you look at my dresses in succession, you would pretty much be able to see that each dress is evolved off the previous one.



So here’s a funny thing. When I make patterns – I use wrapping paper! I know it’s kinda silly but it’s a good way to have big pieces of paper to lay out my long assed skirts and it’s not that expensive either! Just make sure you don’t get the double sided kind – then all the Santa and snowmen designs are distracting when you’re trying to draw out dresses!



Sometimes I will use other articles of clothing I have to help me figure things out. I did this for my Down In It Coat. In fact, for the most part it’s an exact clone of a dress I had in high school. I had this denim dress, which – I actually used as a basis when I made my first dress, but I digress…



It’s perfect because its’ really form fitting and is perfectly cut if it were a jacket. What I did, was lay the wrapping paper out on the floor – it has to be a carpet. Then I laid out the dress and stuck pins all along the seams. Then when you pull it up – you play connect the dots out of the pinholes left on the wrapping paper and – yay! Pattern!



Also, when I make patterns – I always make them bigger then they need to be. 90% of the time I end up taking the things in. Better to have it be too big then too small. I know from past screw ups.


This is Ghosts 12, which is a good example. Even if you plan things out – you still end up having to change things in the end.


I think I always knew it was too big and would have to be taken in…anyways -

Also, and, I’m sure all the girls can relate to this – sometimes things are bigger or smaller then one expects. So, its nice to be able to custom fit the things in the end. I for example maybe be one size in clothing, but when it comes to my ass – well you know. Lets be brutally honest, my ass is pretty huge. And then I’m like, I got fucking no boobs. Every time I make space on my dresses and then I end up taking the WHOLE thing in till its pretty much flat. So sad. Now that was too much information –

But it does bring us back to the Only dress. So – I hade all my patterns all made out and in theory, it should have been perfect, since I was really exact with that one. Problem is, you can’t really have a backless dress AND do the neckline that I had. It’s physically impossible – and since as just discussed I have nothing with which to hold the thing up – I had to do A LOT of altering. It got really ridiculous actually how much I had to fold the stupid thing over. That ended up eliminated a lot of fabric, and as everyone from Izod line knows – it made for MANY a wardrobe malfunction, I’m really sorry guys.



Anyways I still really like Only, and as long as I’m mindful not to bend over too much in it, I’m generally OK. Mostly I really like the logo. I was able to do it by laying out threads and painting them with many layers of Elmer’s glue and water. I glued the letters on, and painted it with a few more layers. After it was dry, I think I painted the back too with it. Then I remember cutting out all of the excess clear glue between the threads and sewing it into the dress. I don’t know how it’s held up – but so far it has survived 2 shows in tact.



After that, I sewed all the sliver beads on, which after everything else was pretty damn easy. Time consuming but – sometimes its nice to do something that I don’t have to think about you know? Like it doesn’t take much to figure out how to sew on beads so that was a nice break after all the times that dress got mess up. Sometimes – a lot of time – I get really mad and have to leave the thing or the night. When I come back the next day, I look at it and think – oh this isn’t so bad, I don’t know what I was so upset over. So yeah a lot of times, its really frustrating, and the whole thing pisses me off.

That’s not to say it always sucks. I can remember embroidering the logo onto Sin and it being this great night… I can remember painting the zeros an ones on to Year Zero, while playing Year Zero and being really happy, things like that. But, Only was one of those that just was one problem after another.



When it comes to hemming, I’m pretty clueless and close inspection will reveal this. All I do, is roll the fabric over twice, pin that down then sew it. I know there are special stitches and ways to do it, but I really don’t know how. But the important thing is to do it well enough so the fabric doesn’t fray.


Sometimes the dresses have a lining, that was the case With_Teeth and Things Falling Apart. It’s nice because all the seams are hidden and the hems look neater. It just takes longer so I don’t always do it.



Lets see, what else have I screwed up that I can make fun of myself for… yeah pretty much every dress had a problem at one point. THE Dress - The Pretty Hate Machine Dress is actually, the second pretty Hate Machine. (The first was a massive fail!) So if anyone else wants to make clothes – go for it and don’t worry if it isn’t perfect ‘cuz that’s totally not the point. I really love making dresses and I really love wearing them. As I keep saying Nails shows are really special for me. I consider it a massive occasion and couldn’t possibly wear jeans and a T-shirt. Of course I understand why everyone else doesn’t dress us – and lets face it even jeans and a T-shirt in the pit aren’t easy sometimes.

Anways, I’m just super excited someone else is making a dress! I remember my first show – EVERYONE it seemed was dressed up and had funky colored hair. Oh those were good days. I’ve been really excited this tour – I’ve been seeing a lot more homemade gear, lots of people dressing up and doing cool things. Adam did his hair all awesome – so many people were super badass and got tats. So everyone – dress up, have fun represent and don’t worry about messing it up. You know TR totally loves it when everyone gets into it, so everyone go out and make fun clothes for ’09. (Just don’t forget to buy merch so he can still afford to tour in ’10.)


Yay! So Everyone in Vegas – give much love and respect to Maryanne – cuz she’s totally gonna do an awesome job on her version of Slip Dress! It’ll be like – V2 – huge improvement over my mess =)

Worchester: The Show Part 2

Ok. OK – here we go -


Everyone OK back there? Lukas Jen? I see you! OK – lets do this shit!!


Someone makes the usual joke – but all I can think is for how this is everyone’s last chance to see him and I yell – “Josh – don’t go.” He can’t hear me of course. But, I think he got the funny pic from Lukas and Jen. He went OFF on Piggy it was insane I like to think he did that for them. See – THAT I think is possible.




TR does his speech – and all I remember is -


HE BRINGS OUT PETER MURPHY!!!


Oh my FUCKING god!!!


And yes, we all remember him getting into some suggestive positions with Trent. For his sake, I ought not post such photos. I can only imagine the comments from the peanut gallery… No really between me and Daylin there are some BAD ones. Way worse then what I’ve seen so far, and though Jonathan jokingly said we should use them as blackmail to get TR to play New York… I’m more then happy to travel. I wouldn’t do such a thing to TR anyways.


On the other hand – wait wait – is that ROB – wearing a SCARF!!!!


Oh my god he’s wearing a red scarf. No really I love Rob. I’m not kidding – you should see some of his fucking sweaters, but I digress.


Dude. Um – um um –


And you should see the close-ups of this. You should see Rob’s shot. Unreal.

-Also – while I’m rambling on about photos – Peter Murphy -Sounds AMAZING on Reptile.

This is not a Goth Show.


Ok, now how sweet is this shot.



No really, it’s like this proud father and son moment. I love this photo.


And then we get to dance to God Given. Does life get any better?




In This Twilight.

I was close, but I’d managed to hold on, until that one line in Hurt that I can never seem to get past…

“I am still, right here.”

And then I lost it. I just sobbed, harder then I usually do. I don’t remember – I remember Florence and I holding hands, I remember looking back at the others….we all were…it was so hard. It’s never easy, but – I knew what this show unlike all others meant…

All I remember just staring at his boots. I can’t look up I just keep looking at his boots and crying, please don’t go, please don’t go…

If he leaves, everyone will scatter. Trent, please don’t leave - you have to keep everyone together….


What he says I don’t know it just hits me harder then usual…really bad…..

Please…don’t go…don’t leave us

and it feels like
like it was a friend
if its watching us
and the world we set on fire
do you wonder
if it feels the same?

could I have been a better person?


but the sky is filled with light
can you see it?
all the black is really white
if you believe it
and the longing that you feel
you know none of this is real
we will find a better place
in this twilight


Oh Diva, not yet no god no – that means -


NO! Cries of anguish, Josh!


Zero Sum.

God

-have mercy

on…..


he leaves. We all…………there are no words, at least none that will be repeated on the Internet. But it wasn’t easy. I had to say good-bye to a lot of people…and we all had to deal with…


but still we all stumbled out together, I grabbed a present for Jen, just as she was grabbing the same one for me…


See how she pimps out her side of the car? I love it.


We drove home, everyone was tired. Its kinda painful to be in the backseat for long car rides, but as I stretched out my usual half asleep, I knew the physical pain was nothing and would be far better then what I would feel the next day when I was not in a car with everyone…


It was a nice car ride, the moon was beautiful, and Lukas always plays good music when he drives – but…

Before we all piled into the car and returned to New York or left for Canada... Before our group was split, to the girls' hotel

-We were all together…